Bonger News 4 War in Chyrobia is is presented by the meerkats. People still come up to us and say they didn’t believe they were not REAL meerkats. These people are either stupid or liars. As our producer said, these meerkats are OBVIOUSLY sodding glove puppets provided by ‘Dopey presenter puppets Ltd.’ It has come to light that Bonger News is actively looking for new presenters.
Auditions are to be held in the Albert Hall. Anyone thinking about applying should read ‘Audition notes’ available from Bonger News.
War In Chyrobia
War in Chyrobia. The uprising in Chyrobia continues. Our reporters Harry Furtado and Mr Munk are in Chyrobia. They are embedded with a group of deserters from the Chyrobian national army. The army is on the side of the president, Mr Hi-Ham-Doomed. They are not doing so well. The rebels, under Brigadier Chuff-Chuff-Slaughter, are on the offensive and winning. Munk and Furtado are outside their hotel being shelled, and not enjoying it. Even more ominous is the suggestion as to who is behind the revolution. It is rumoured to be non other than the evil Fu-Man-Chomp. More news will be brought to you as we get it. The Chyrobian army confirm that the safety of Munk and Furtado is their priority, but behind that of their mascot the chipmunk Wilfred.
Other items on this news report about the war in Chyrobia include the Bonger Estate fraud enquiry. Chief suspect was Marmaduke Snogg, the butler. However, Snogg has since been cleared of all suspicion.